incorrect quotes oblivion edition

Person A: Do any of you have any healthy stress outlets?
Person B: screaming
Person C: push-ups
Person D: prayers
Person E: manipulation
Person A: okay, so we have screaming

Person A: Okay, I’ve come up with a three-steps-plan to get Joni to date you.
Person B: ...I’m listening.
Person A: Step one, get her to play truth or dare.
Person B: Stop.
Person A: Step two, wait until she picks dare.
Person B: No.
Person A: Step three, dare her to date you.
Person C, yelling from the other room: It could work!

Person A, on the phone with Person B: bro, where are you?
Person B: driving home from shopping, why?
Person A: we went shopping together
Person B:
Person B: oh no
Person B: STAY WHERE YOU ARE IM COMING

Person A: I am friends with a liar
Person A: Person B texted “lmfao” back to me from the other room
Person A: I hear no laughing
Person A: I hear no ass hitting the floor

Person A: DO IT FOR THE VINE
Person B: please God, do not do it for the vine.
Person C: PERSON A WATCH THIS

Person A: what happens if I press the gas and the brake at the same time?
Person B: the car takes a screenshot
Person C: pull over and let me out of the car please

Person A: Im probably one of the smartest, most skilled people here
Person B: ….Is your hand stuck in a vending machine?
Person A: I paid for mY SKITTLES, IM GETTING MY SKITTLES.

Person A:I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.
Person B: I witnessed the dumb stuff.
Person C: I recorded the dumb stuff.
Person D: I joined in on the dumb stuff.
Person E: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!

Person A: ARE YOU-
Person B: fucking
Person A: KIDDING ME?! YOU-
Person B: fucking
Person A: IDIOT!
Person C: ...what was that?
Person B: D banned A from swearing so i volunteered to help her out.

Person A: I’m not doing too well.
Person A: I have a headache that comes and goes.
Person B: *walks into the room*
Person A: Oh look, there it is again.

Person A: why are you in trouble this time?
Person B: some kid at school said words couldn’t hurt them
Person B: so I threw a dictionary at their head

Person A: you have more qualities than you think, [points to B’s chest] you have this
Person B: I do have great tits yes thank you
Person A:
Person A: I meant your heart

Person A: B was banned from a buffet again
Person B: well they shouldn’t put “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it
Person A: you ate a chair

Person A: You shouldn’t insult people (stop.) taller than yourself
Person B: Then I wouldn’t be able to insult anyone!

Person A: What's a word that’s a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?
Person B: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-
Person C: Smad.

Person A: Because I will never be allowed to eat lava-
Person A: *pauses to stare pleadingly at B*
Person B:: *squints at A angrily and shakes head no*
Person A: - my current theory is it has a texture of very thick honey.